Psalms 31:3 "For Thou art my rock and my fortress."

Today, after fishing hard all morning, I felt as empty as my stringer, so I stopped by The Rock to get refilled.

I have a place on my beach that I reserve for worship and meditation. I call it The Rock, my chapel by the sea. There is one rock out there surrounded by sea and set on a pedestal of sand. I don't pray to it, but I do concentrate on it as one would a statue, a crucifix or a picture over the baptismal. It isn't God, but it reminds me of Him, always there, unchanging and immovable.

But today when I sat my sea soaked self down in my favorite pew, a sand ledge formed by the sea, I looked out and shouted in the silence, "My rock is gone!" I could feel my soul crumble just like the sand ledge I sat upon.

Out there in the water where my rock always waited, there was a long row of man made cement chunks that had been deliberately placed there to stop beach erosion. That was necessary, but not nice, but how was the country to know that my rock, my fortress was now gone?

I have to admit that at other times in my life I have felt that "God-gone" feeling before. I have tried to pray when I felt as if my prayers only hit the ceiling and bounced back down at me. There have been times that I have searched for the way and have been left there kneeling, due to fear and lack of faith. St. Therese, The Little Flower, called these feelings her time of "aridity," the dry desert of her faithful life. Not being a saint, I just shouted again, "My rock is gone!!"

I sat there feeling sad as if the sea was empty until, not with a thought, but a feeling, I realized that my rock was not gone. I just couldn't see it for the man made things that were keeping me from seeing it, so like the other times in my life that I had felt like God was gone.

Slowly, with my soul's eye, I searched out my rock and there it was, unchanging and immovable. I just had to see it on a whole more spiritual plain. My rock was not gone and never would be.

Dear Lord, when we feel as if You're gone, help us to seek You more deeply. Sometimes manmade things may tempt to cover You up, but thank you for still being there. God won't be gone.

John 6:39 "And this is the Father's will which hath sent me, that of all which He hath given me. I should lose nothing."

Today, at about 1 a.m., I lost my father's old, ancient, antique rod.

I was going out to fish under the lights on this nice long pier when I felt it slip through my fingers, saw it go through the worn pier planks and heard it plop into the dark waiting water.

I was being really smart and carrying everything I would need for a good night of fishing. I was being so smart that I wasn't going to make two trips like those other silly conservative fishermen. I would take it all at once and get the best spot.

All I did was prove that I was more competitive than competent.

I can still feel the emptiness in my hand as it slid away and the plop it made was molded in my mind. The plop was not the last thing people heard, as I threw a screaming, stomping fit over my loss.

I finally settled down enough to get out one of my other rods and reels, rig it up and try dragging it along that blackened bottom to see if I could snag my lost treasure. I tried using a dip net, the hook on the 20-foot stringer, the gaff hook and when I was about to cast myself over the pier railing in search for it, I realized, that the way the tide was running, it was really gone.

Buried at sea.

Forever lost.

I was so bitter about that loss that I started gathering up all my stuff and stomping off that stupid pier. Then I stopped myself. I realized that I still had a perfectly good rod and reel remaining, and being bitter didn't help at all.

I fished there the rest of the night, caught several speckled trout and, as the sun came up on a new day, I learned that I had learned a powerful lesson: When you lose something precious, you can either be bitter or better. I decided that better is better than bitter.

Dear Lord, as I left the pier this morning, I found myself singing "Amazing grace, how sweet the song; that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now I am found; was blind but now I see." Insight is better than bitterness